Dear New Reader:
I should take the first few moments to thank you for choosing to read my blog, to provide a clear and concise outline of my theme, reason for writing, glossy photos and so on, but I just can’t do that. Doug Stanhope said it best: “It’s like I’m leading you into battle. You’re not all going to be here at the end.” Fact is, I have no outline, definitely have no theme and ultimately am doing this, well, just because. It’s sort of a blog about nothing. Hell, it worked for Seinfeld.
With two references to comedians out-of-the-gate, you can be assured of a hefty amount of wit. In addition, I have been on plenty of crazy adventures including a boat trip down the Mississippi River, countless long-distance motorcycle journeys across the United States and other countries, run-ins with the law, both vehicular and non-vehicular based, have flown planes, raced cars, spoiled my dinner, ran with scissors and during it all, have never, ever acted my age.
I am a professional intellectual-based imbiber which has spawned their own set of adventures. Some of my favorite include spray-paint protesting the world’s largest weapons manufacturer while on a golf cart, purchasing a sailboat on eBay and falling through an awning from a second floor balcony. Beware: adult beverages may be involved from time to time.
And lastly is my quiet side. I live on a farm with my wife, Devil Woman, sometimes lovingly referred to as the “Misses”, and our “children”, comprised of chickens, ducks, guineas, geese, dogs and two awful cats. My sanctuary begins at our gates, where the madness ends and my solitude begins. I love going to good restaurants and have a true appreciation for food, which is my guiltiest pleasure.
Still here? Good. Here’s my pledge to ye, fair reader. You’re going to laugh. You’ll probably get offended, all the while feeling guilty that you laughed. Hopefully you will see a fun, new perspective from a nut on a computer. I don’t wish to change anything in you, solicit you, have you sign a petition, or run for office. I’ll probably bitch some, but it will be with resolve and not to cast negativity into space.
I am Life, ran thru a crazy filter for your and my entertainment; a perspective so slanted it threatens to tip-over completely; travelling to the extreme edge and reporting back from it. One day there may be a short piece about chicken farming, the next one could be reflecting on a recent adventure I undertook followed by an odd-ball restaurant review. It’s just fun writing at its highest art form…communication. Ultimately, it’s just about what’s out there.